Six hours of sleep last night while playing with my thoughts and a headache threat. It was tough to wake up this morning even in the midst of hunger and the urge for a warm cup of coffee. After an extended hour in between the sheets, a hot shower seemed to scare away the ghosts from the previous night. Already walking down the pathway, the fresh morning breeze reminded me of this new sky, the squirrels dancing around me, the small leaves falling one by one, and that gray, zinc high wall on the other side; the wall I’ve got to despised as a symbol of division, us and them. That’s the same wall I try hard not to look at ever since I found out what lies behind it. But, that is another story.
Late as I was, the dining hall was about to close. As I was turning around, missing my coffee already, a calmed voice. “Ma’am, come in. Please, have a sit.” Coffee was brewed, custom made, and delivered with the right amount of sugar. The deliverer, the sunniest smile I have ever seen, the same one walking me back to the door as I left.
Yes, being here is breaking my heart. It is bringing out a sense of compassion unknown to me till this day maybe, because in America, with our still all powerful thinking, I haven’t seen this humbleness, this respect, this clarity in the eyes of people who, even when rejected, still acknowledge the sacredness on each other. It’s getting out of hand as I try to manage it. I am divided among mixed feelings; going back to my normal life, where family and loved ones are waiting for me or staying, battling this sentiment that makes me feel powerless against the suffering and unfairness we have created. I have yet to decide in one of those sleepless nights.
In the meantime, one thing I know for sure. These people have so much to teach us! Formal education, money, possessions do not make a person. Respect towards each other comes from the heart and theirs is a big one. Maybe it is time for all of us to strengthen and enlarge ours.
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